I have avoided goal setting for a long time.
Ugh- there I said it. I know it sounds silly. I mean what's the big deal right? And aren't goals a good thing?
Yeah, goals should be a good thing, but when you have it in your head that whenever you set goals, you fail- you don't quite hit that goal- well, goals become horrible things.
Thankfully, I have made a lot of progress over the last month or so. I haven't just set goals. I have set BIG goals. I have also been talking to other people about goal setting and you know what I have found? I am not the only one with an aversion to goals!!
These few people I have talked to (and myself) all expressed the same issue with goals: there is a major fear of failure and also a fear of the embarrassment and shame that comes along with that failure.
Our brains are only able to envision the future based on what has happened in our past. So, if every time you set a goal, you don't quite meet it or you don't make an effort to achieve it, your brain concludes that when you set goals you fail. This is just a natural part of our programming for survival. For example, we need to be able to experience a life-threatening situation once and learn either, how to get through it safely or how to avoid it entirely.
There are a couple of things to consider when considering goal setting. First of all, logically, we know that our past does not determine our futures. Just because you didn't meet one of your goals, doesn't mean that you won't smash the next goal you set! Second, there are benefits to failure. I know it sounds crazy, but really think about it. Not only are you learning ways that don't work to meet the goal you set, but you are also opening yourself up to the possibility of something altogether different. Here are eight examples of inventors that didn't meet the goal they set out to.... they just changed the world with their accidental inventions instead!
If you have the desire to accomplish something (anything!), all you need is the determination to see your project, journey, or process through. It can be so easy to give in, to give up, and to forget. You will never lose that desire no matter how hard you try. Please consider this before you give up completely: What if? What if you are meant to create a life-changing invention? What if you are the only person on the planet to educate on a certain topic? What if your story is the story that changes the life of one desperate person? 5 people? 100 people? What if you push through, smash your goal, and change your own life? And the lives of those you love with it?
Goal setting can be a challenge. Facing the fear of failure is not fun. This is not the path of least resistance. However, this can be the most rewarding path. Don't quit. You are the only person capable of doing whatever desire is on your heart. The world needs you. There is only one you.
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